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FaithieMythos

Faithie mythos
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Covert Affairs

1 min read
I'm at my buddy Hendra's office.  He works at a video production studio in Cape Canaveral.  I hang out with him a lot over here.  I know him from back when I was in high school.  
     Piper Perabo reminds me a great deal of Jennifer Garner who plays in Aliase.  It's interesting watching the chemistry of these two women...
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the water was dark, but reflected the light.  
"Do you love me,"Silfa asked.  
"I do," Ver says," but saying it too often.  I don't want you to take me for granted."  
She laughs," Do you really think..."
"I don't think you ever would, or that I would... but better safe than sorry," Ver says.
"I knew you'd say that..."
"and if you can finish my sentences, do you love me less... boring, predictable."
"no, and yes, and no... so why do you do this? What if I was love starving, and needed it whispered to me for hours..."
"Is this the problem??  Am I starving you," Ver says, wrapping his arms around her.  He starts to trace the curves of her back as she says,
"I couldn't admit to it, if you were?" Which draws his focus.
"What does that mean?"  
"DO any of us ever get enough, to where they say, I'm full..."
"sure, their dead."  
"before that," She asks.
"It's what I feel when I'm with you," he says.
"Son of a... me too," Silfa says.
"all the time, like God had our back," Ver says.  
"So... Say it you,"Silfa pauses.
"Yes,"Ver says.  
"I need you to say it, right now if you mean it, like if you can...now," as she speaks Silfa talks faster until Ver interrupts.
"What is it Silfa, what's..." He starts to say.
"NO, This isn't something else, this is, You know what this is..." She says, and while Ver isn't quite sure he does... He says,
"I love you Silfa.  I love you so that I feel blessed every minute we're given and want to hold onto you and never let you go."  
"You don't think you laid the last bit on a little heavy, like you like me more than I like you...."
"B b b b b b b b," Ver says the letter over and over with the expression at the end like he's enunciating some other word, and then looks over, like you almost called me,"Bastard."
"I didn't say it," She says.  
"No, but you thought it loud enough," He says, "You worried I'm gonna run out on you..."
"Hardly, my father would chase you across continents," she says.
"So whose compelled to be in this relationship..."
"OH, you b b b b b...." They laugh.  
Ver starts to kiss Silfa's next, and she whispers,"I'm pregnant..."
and for a second it's like Ver is frozen, and then he turns and kisses her on the mouth, then moves his mouth next to her ear to say,
"I need you to understand how happy I am..."
"You're gonna run aren't you..."
"Not if you'll hold on...."  

and that was when she took him down.
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as I realized I didn't want too many folks I knew reading what I had to say... It's funny I write some stuff that I don't share with anyone except God.  I burn that stuff and it's like forever our little secret, and nothing personal, but fuck the rest of ya... (i.e. It's not anyone else's business).
Actually I'm an arrogant prick so I don't do this too often, because that arrogance stems like all pride... from insecurity... You don't have to believe me.  I have 10 times the ego of most folks I meet, and I don't mean this as a compliment to myself.  I have learned to accept this flaw and am working to balance it out.  Usually I... at the very least have a good sense of higher truth, even if others don't agree...

I have an ok success rating at the divine intervention hotline.  

I met a girl recently.  I really like her, but she comes from a background that paints for me a picture that speaks tragedy, carves it into me.  It pushed her away from me hard enough where I stumbled back a step.  I don't know if the universe just bowed up on me or what, but... I don't want to accept the challenge.  Yes, I'm attracted to her physically.  She is beautiful.  She is sweet.  She... I don't want to be fucking hurt anymore.  I won't walk this road to get hurt.  I don't know how to help this girl and May of my friends might even deny there is a problem but it all SCREAMS to me.  Actually there you FUCKING GO... You can't help a junkie who you're involved with, so universe... I imagine you didn't plan on me being able to stay with her anyways.  I just wish... I don't even want to talk about it.  That's how much it hurts inside I don't want to share it with anyone and that is why I am able to burn something beautiful I wrote and say,"God this is between you and me man..."  I love you.  Please help me.  

It's funny with the atheist discussion group I had going on, it allowed me to see how very simple the thinking of most of these (note these particular) atheists are in the group. The primary complexity of them being how much they lie to themselves either with trite mathmatical metaphors, that prove nothing or by telling themselves they are looking deeper when they haven't even touched on the nature of time... How presumptuos to think they had touched on the nature of God.  

     Of course they also couldn't acknowledge that an agnostic was a less biased, more logical thinker and scientist either... To me science and faith should be separate entities because you cannot prove the things they are seeking, and if you ain't figured out death, TIme, or the essence of life... you better bet you're a long way from the home stretch.  
     I believe it is easy to choose not to have faith, because while the world presents itself as text, semantics, semiotics... it is easy enough to mark it out to syncronicity, and coincidence...

I do wish and Pray God would communicae with me though, so that I would stop slipping... fuck, barely standing...I'm gonna shut up now.

Love,

Faithie Mythos
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I figured I would try and sell some stuff as postcards and magnets on here.  I didn't tell any of the folks I know on myspace or facebook, figured it would be an experiment of sorts.  (I use a lot of different aliases I just... don't fucking ask me why).  Anyways.  If you like my stuff buy something and I'll post a bunch more. I have literally thousands of sketches....
      If you get restless and feel like chatting drop me a line on yahoo.  princeofautumn.  

Ciao,

faithie
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Covert Affairs by FaithieMythos, journal

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